empty

i want to throw up

and i dont mean poetically

im not speaking of words

or tears

feelings or darkness

i'm talking those unwanted portions

that we turn away from

because some poor fool

has lost their cool

has lost control

thats where i am 

at that place huddled on the sidewalk

looking for something to expel

someway to separate myself from me

to reject what i thought was good

to throw it up 

coated in portions of me

because you cannot receive without giving

and every cut leaves a scar

but thats not for me

im just here crumpled on the pavement

retching

wishing that there was more to give.