Wednesday, January 27, 2010

O for some rain.

The street is the same as it has been
each of the hundred days before
I would think that one day there will be a change
small cracks stretched out like girls sunbathing
swallowing up the heat with their hungry skin
and splintering away into shadow dolls
across the sand expanse
and that one day the road will be a pile
a faint path of gravel and cement dust
ground away to nothingness beneath the weight
and the sun but...
The sun was warm today as it always is
and the heat sank through the air gracefully
the spray from a continually spring
to where I don't even feel it anymore
between my fingers and under the weight of my hair
I notice its slow waves crawling down the road
the thousand undulating motions on its way
to some place still holding its cool breath
like a treasure hidden away from thieves
the sun will slide in through the window and steal it away
but not today...
Today I saw your father across the road
myself on one side and he on the other
with the lazy heat sliding along the street
and the thousand hairline cracks in the cement
drinking up the golden drops like wine
and then the rain broke down on us

I stood wet and saw him across the street
with the water running down the long lines of his face
and sinking into the seams of his shirt
and spreading its thin line like a stain across his chest
and broken came the pain pouring forth.
A thousand miles and a long farewell.

The street is not the same.
The heat sticks to my skin.
You are gone and far away.
The rain has stopped again.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Confession

oh my broken hands
how smooth the shadow falls
from the wrist into the black form
an easy softness along the ground
and my hands my hands
o my brokenness
these weak fingers with their throbbing grasp
these shattered strands of push and pull
that have fallen limp like puppet strings
cut and left to drift across the stage
my hands are broken
and yet how smooth they look in these simple shadows
how well formed in grace they glide
over obstacle above each creviced crack
and yet against the silent weight of air they scream
how silent the shadow
while the form shrieking flies
a clumsy weary path back from the cold land
and on again looking for a less weary sun

how smooth my smile lays beneath the glossy layer
how light the paper drifts from breeze to breeze
how graceful the shadow

and O - O how broken I am.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

God has not said a Word.

Steal for me that secret face
I'll steal it myself
with my moonlit fingers in the night
whisper soft across your sleeping skin
and quick as a kiss its gone
slipped from the faint line your golden hair makes
all the way down past the curve of your jaw
and then off
to be held up in the mirror
a favored prize to be gloated over
my gold tipped nails flashing against the pearly glow
and you sleeping on unknowing
I'll fold it up and tuck it away
in the back of my drawer with the silvered lock
Pull it out in the long afternoon
when the sun stretches lazily across the door
like an old lover sure of his welcome
and the yard looks bleak and grey
under the unscattered dust
and remember the shock of seeing it there
your secret face so open
and the sudden joy in theft to hide it away

So this is how I'll remember you
this secret face in my stolen hoard
you sleeping with the storm outside
and naught but peace within
O Porphyria how silently you slipped away.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The green fields are waiting.

Too many hours between dusk and dawn
How dark the night is now
Full of noise and grief
Find my way to an empty house
You used to call it home.
I sing a thousand cliches
trying to find my way through
The streets were straight and the dawn was close
The dream was gone and the doors were closed.
too many breaths before I breathe again
Too many dreams until I live.
Too soon they pulled you away.

Too many days till I see you again.

Estrella

My favorite secret I stretch before you every night.
you stare and you smile.
and you don't see it at all.
I suppose I'm still safe in all this dark then.
Sitting next to you with this vulnerability
shrieking across the shadows
and you don't see it at all.
I suppose I'm okay.
You'll sit beside me forever
how sweet and silent
waiting for me to break free
waiting for me to show you the last door
the singing secret that i've tucked away, somewhere.
you tell me you'll wait-
you'll wait forever.
I wonder what you're waiting for.
What are you looking for, o my love?
I'm standing here with my secret strewn across the sky.
Are you blind to sit staring and not see a thing?

I taught each star to sing
from when i was a child each a shining note
they streak a chorus of sound
across the inkstrewn sky
and they're singing out your name with each flickering flash
while you're watching the headlights go by
How blind you are love of mine
Look and see what my heart wrote.

The last secret blazes across the sky.
The last secret between you and I.

Gods and Ghosts.

I'm tearing you down one by one
from these empty walls
and standing you up against the smoggy sunset
and let the red light trace you against the smoke
my own cityscape
stand tall and straight
scratch your black shadows into the horizon
and i'll spin watching the world disappear
behind the bulk of who you are and what that means
stretch out your arms and grow
the mountains of my valley home
these ragged edges folds and tears
the places where the story blurs
i'll pretend they all disappear
bend the light around them with my clever mirrors
and sit in the center of your circle
safe again and silent
How strong you are my loves
the towering giants in my mind
to protect me from the sharp horizon
the soft eyed saviors with outstretched hands

And the wind blows
knocks you down
one by one my empty loves
cardboard caricatures of model men

The horizon stretches its gaping mouth
and with one snap
consumes me alone.

It's night in a ghost town.

Fall falls on the Suburbs

Welcome back.
The sidewalk has been missing
your shadow along the street
skipping crack by crack
because she won't (she won't) take you back
and your toes have magic in them
your lips sing spells in the sunset
and the red sparks singe the summer skin
that stretches over this town
a slender balloon on the edge of bursting
but if we just believe
the line will hold and the sun stand still
so close your eyes and count to three
turn around and we can still be free
you so new returned and I
with my dreams still clinging to my fingers
dripping hope from the edges of my hair
and it splashes on the sidewalk
against your bare feet without you flinching
Sharpedged in this twilight where everything blurs
you stand against the concrete like an assault
and I am afraid.
oh my friend my love.
You are already gone.
The spell is broken the summer dead.
You've left inside your head
leaving just your empty hand
to swing next to mine, an empty invitation.

The night has fallen
and you don't even hear me sigh.
Welcome back my love
and goodbye.

Supplication.

hello again,
I suppose I should just put this down.
You and I both know
Its a lost battle I'm fighting
and this bottle won't do any good.
Sooner or later this crack keeps growing
One day i'll have to give in
and wake up knowing that this
is the way it is. These dreams
are the sphere I'm living on
with memories my fragile gravity
holding these pieces together
and baby i'm magnetic
click on click off
with my arms and heart drifting apart
watch me working away
but hey hey
my hearts not in it
so light me another cigarette
it's raining it's raining
the tobacco won't take
and i know its a mistake
because the smell's not worth the numbing
so tie me together with these trains of thought
mark me down note by note
I'm singing les miserables and I'm in key
maybe its the tune that will set me free
but when the night is over
i'll remember the river's just a river
So baby i'll put the bottle down

Superglue never fixed a cardiac arrest
and nicotine won't stop me dreaming


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Summer City

this is my summer city. the city of my summer.

how green the world is and warm

with the heavy clouds wrapping up the horizon

so it can't cut me with its sharp edges

so i'll sing summer in this city

this city of my soul sing my way along.

how warm it is here, at home

but the frost is reaching

its thin fingers under the door

and its scraping against my skin.

I am lost.

Do not look for me my love

along the long alleys of swinging lights

leave the field growing green untouched

My footsteps are not among them

O my love my love

this is the long goodbye

this is the silent severing when I release you

Let you release me too

O my love, O this summer city,

Do not forget.

How bright those summer nights that smelt of freedom

How sweet the scent of rain on the green

you and I and the whole summer city

Quick the frost comes

How quiet the world becomes in these last moments

how quiet and grey

The city will draw its cloak about its throat

wrapped in the black

let night grow like mourning

but in the morning break free

Throw it off and sing with the whispering green

But do not forget. do not forget.

O my summer city, O my love.

Goodbye.