Side Effects of Strength

cradle me in this chaos
this nest of sharp edges and rough things
that break my skin
i carry a thousand silver casts
stretched to meet the solemn skin
that ripples at the junction
and you say that i glow
i decide to disagree
with my colder harsher face
that these days built for me

and i wonder if spiderman hated that suit
hated the way it bent around him
made him stronger kept him moving
wished that somedays
it would just be him
him and the frail cotton of common
with nothing to hold him up
so that he too could fall
who knows
maybe he loved his synthetic spine
to be propelled along with the force of nature
as though nothing could stop you
nothing could break you

i take delusion like a drug
popping my pills of positive thinking
washing them down with a good draught
of forgetfulness and faerie tales
cause no one loves reality
we'd all rather live inside our heads

in our heads
where i wear the cape
and you wear the mask
peel it back in the rain...
and we all know what comes after

but i'm here
in this cradle of chaos
you and i and this fragile spine
me and mine and all this space
between you and yours
and oh it aches
these silver scars stretching over this broken skin

and you say baby you're glowing
and i say baby i'm going

salt stings me
i am silver all over
i am strong and silver
and oh its over

i wish i were broken. instead.